Is Positive Thinking A Whole Lot Of Baloney? If you go to any book store or even look online you will find many self-help books that promote the benefits of positive thinking. But is it really a whole lot of rubbish? Or does it truly have the power to change our lives? And whichever way is true, what does this mean in terms of raising our kids? In January it will be an important anniversary for me. You see on 9 January 2008 I found myself in a hospital emergency ward unable to swallow anything. And when I mean anything I mean anything - even my own saliva. Now to cut a long story short, I found out months later there was nothing physically wrong with me. I had created the whole thing using my mind. Don't get me wrong, for me it was incredibly real. Touch your keypad or mouse or anything else in your near vicinity. As real as that experience was for you, that's how real it was for me when I believed my throat had closed over. Except I guess my experience was a little more terrifying than yours! By now you may be wondering if there was nothing physically wrong with me how did this happen. Trust me, it took me a while to come to terms with this myself, but I created the whole thing due to my negative self-belief and negative thinking which had started when I was a child. Yes that's right when I was a child; probably as early as 5. I took those same beliefs and negative thinking with me into adulthood. When I couldn't withstand it any further it had to come out and for me it manifested by being unable to swallow. Of course my example is rather extreme. But it demonstrates how our thoughts can and do create our lives. When you realise it all started when I was a small child, you understand why it is important for us to instil great habits and patterns of behaviour in our kids. If they believe in themselves when they are children and teenagers they will have a strong armour to help them go forward as adults. Knowing all of this, it comes to us as no surprise that positive thinking is not only effective but also important. Unfortunately sometimes it is misunderstood and people believe that they have to fake it. Trust me that doesn't work, I walked around for nearly 40 years of my life with a permanent smiley face covering nothing more than a whole lot of pain. We all know where I ended up and it wasn't pretty. As parents we should be looking at ways each and every day to affirm our kids, to help them believe they are important and help rocket their self-esteem. Have them look for things they can affirm about themselves too. It is one thing for someone to say something to you but it is another thing to say it about yourself. I remember in my first job I worked with a girl, who was about the same age as me who kept saying she was "fat". I can promise you she was far from being over-weight. But she didn't believe it about herself. If your kids are feeling upset or angry remember that's OK. (As long as they aren't acting out and hurting others because that achieves nothing but more heartache not only for the people they are hurting but also themselves.) Allow them to feel it but also explain to them to detach themselves from the situation. After all we aren't our emotions. Instead of being caught up in it and losing perspective, when we allow ourselves to sit back and detach from it, we gain greater perspective and insight. When things go "wrong" ask your kids empowering questions like: "in this situation what would I like instead?" and "what can I learn from this?" and "what is the good I can get out of this challenge?" We get what we focus on. Therefore the more we have a positive focus filled with gratitude and love that is more what we will receive. Help your kids to focus on those positives because if we all stopped and did an inventory we would realise there is much to be grateful for. Be sure to use positive and empowering language around your kids and have them do the same. When this becomes an every day habit you will find your kids have solid foundations to set them up for a happy and successful life. Then if life throws a curve ball, your kids won't blame themselves or think it is something wrong with them, they will look at ways to make it even better.

If you go to any book store or even look online you will find many self-help books that promote the benefits of positive thinking. But is it really a whole lot of rubbish? Or does it truly have the power to change our lives? And whichever way is true, what does this mean in terms of raising our kids? In January it will be an important anniversary for me. You see on 9 January 2008 I found myself in a hospital emergency ward unable to swallow anything. And when I mean anything I mean anything - even my own saliva. Now to cut a long story short, I found out months later there was nothing physically wrong with me. I had created the whole thing using my mind. Don't get me wrong, for me it was incredibly real. Touch your keypad or mouse or anything else in your near vicinity. As real as that experience was for you, that's how real it was for me when I believed my throat had closed over. Except I guess my experience was a little more terrifying than yours! By now you may be wondering if there was nothing physically wrong with me how did this happen. Trust me, it took me a while to come to terms with this myself, but I created the whole thing due to my negative self-belief and negative thinking which had started when I was a child. Yes that's right when I was a child; probably as early as 5. I took those same beliefs and negative thinking with me into adulthood. When I couldn't withstand it any further it had to come out and for me it manifested by being unable to swallow. Of course my example is rather extreme. But it demonstrates how our thoughts can and do create our lives. When you realise it all started when I was a small child, you understand why it is important for us to instil great habits and patterns of behaviour in our kids. If they believe in themselves when they are children and teenagers they will have a strong armour to help them go forward as adults. Knowing all of this, it comes to us as no surprise that positive thinking is not only effective but also important. Unfortunately sometimes it is misunderstood and people believe that they have to fake it. Trust me that doesn't work, I walked around for nearly 40 years of my life with a permanent smiley face covering nothing more than a whole lot of pain. We all know where I ended up and it wasn't pretty. As parents we should be looking at ways each and every day to affirm our kids, to help them believe they are important and help rocket their self-esteem. Have them look for things they can affirm about themselves too. It is one thing for someone to say something to you but it is another thing to say it about yourself. I remember in my first job I worked with a girl, who was about the same age as me who kept saying she was "fat". I can promise you she was far from being over-weight. But she didn't believe it about herself. If your kids are feeling upset or angry remember that's OK. (As long as they aren't acting out and hurting others because that achieves nothing but more heartache not only for the people they are hurting but also themselves.) Allow them to feel it but also explain to them to detach themselves from the situation. After all we aren't our emotions. Instead of being caught up in it and losing perspective, when we allow ourselves to sit back and detach from it, we gain greater perspective and insight. When things go "wrong" ask your kids empowering questions like: "in this situation what would I like instead?" and "what can I learn from this?" and "what is the good I can get out of this challenge?" We get what we focus on. Therefore the more we have a positive focus filled with gratitude and love that is more what we will receive. Help your kids to focus on those positives because if we all stopped and did an inventory we would realise there is much to be grateful for. Be sure to use positive and empowering language around your kids and have them do the same. When this becomes an every day habit you will find your kids have solid foundations to set them up for a happy and successful life. Then if life throws a curve ball, your kids won't blame themselves or think it is something wrong with them, they will look at ways to make it even better.