You Can Discipline Your Child Without Bribery

Every once in a while my children would try to get me to agree to award them if they ate their dinner, got into bed on time, or turned off the TV. Woe to them, their Mom is well versed in the pitfalls of bribing children to do what they are supposed to do. It is easy to fall into the trap of bribery. Life is definitely a little more difficult in my house because I refuse to succumb. Children do toe the line when they are bribed, however, parents need to know at what cost. Many psychologists agree bribing teaches children to expect rewards for basic normal behavior. A University of Florida study showed that children who were rewarded for answering simple questions in school felt less confident in their scholastic abilities then children who received nothing. Most importantly, bribes rob children of the opportunity to feel good about doing the right thing. It does not allow them to heed their conscience. Children need practice in learning to curb their bad behavior. Bribing takes away the internal work that they need to do to make good and moral decisions. If we can't bribe then what can we do? Although it may seem scary at first there are better ways to discipline your child. You can: 1. Eliminate triggers: The other afternoon my son had an appointment and we got home late. My daughter had been at a friend since school ended until that time. The kids were tired, cranky and hungry. Instead of getting angry at them, and bribing them to behave, I said, "A late appointment and being at a friends house until now does not seem to work for our family. Everyone is in a bad mood. Next time we will plan our day better." I resolved never to make appointments so late in the day again. Instead of wondering how to get our kids to behave in the heat of the moment which leads us to bribing, we need to expend more energy at figuring out what triggers our children's bad behavior. Young children do not need to go to fancy restaurants if you know they have a hard time sitting. Children who lose it in the supermarket can be left at home with a babysitter or one parent. If you know your child gets upset when his TV time is over, don't turn it on to begin with. Find other activities. It is important to plan your days so that your kids have every opportunity to behave appropriately. 2. Find reasons for their misbehavior and find solutions: When my son was three he went through a stage where he would not sleep in his bed. He cried every time we got him ready for sleep. We finally asked him why he didn't want to sleep in his bed. He told us he was scared of the bird. The week before a bird smashed into his window, the bird was okay but it frightened him. We moved his bed away from the window and he agreed to sleep in it again. There are many reasons why children aren't listening or complying. Children might not want to go to school because their friend was mean to them the day before. They might not be feeling well. If we find out what is bothering them we can then solve their problems easily without resorting to bribes. For more ways to discipline your child visit us at . While you are there sign up for our highly informative parenting workshops