After School Activities - How Much is Too Much?

When I was growing up, I came home from school and then spent the next few hours outside running around, playing and just being a kid. After dinner, I'd settle down to homework, then talk on the phone and finally turn in for the night. I did have a couple of afternoon activities I participated in, but I still had plenty of time to hang out with friends and run around the neighborhood. My oldest daughter was not allowed to run around unsupervised as I was, but she engaged in many after school play dates either at our house or the house of her classmates. She too had plenty of time to play with friends, do homework and even participate in a few after school programs. What I see today are children who are so overscheduled they are eating dinner at 8:00 p.m. and sitting down to do their homework after 10:00 at night. I schedule appointments for a very busy clergy here in town. Part of his responsibility is meeting with families of 12 year olds as they prepare for the year ahead. I'm always saddened when parents tell me that the only "free time" their child has is on Sunday night at 7:00 p.m. Each day after school is an assortment of music lessons, art lessons, dance lessons, sports practices and more. Asking if they can reschedule their child's lesson for a one-time clergy meeting is often met with great resistance. This leads me to ask how much is too much? I really do agree that a busy child is less likely to get into mischief but I also believe when a child does not have a free hour in any given week, that child is overscheduled. As adults we often make choices on how to spend our time. Do we attend a friend's party or the opening night of a play? Do we attend a dinner fundraiser or our child's sports banquet? Do we go out for a night with the girls or do we take a one night class on a topic of interest to us? We are constantly having to make a choice on where we spend and invest our time. Teaching our children how to make choices is an important lesson we can teach them as parents. Teaching our children that we truly can't do it all is also an important lesson. I know I enjoy an hour here and there to relax with a good book, or to play a game of dominoes on the computer or even to dig out my scrapbooking supplies and create a few pages. Kids too enjoy the down time; just chilling with their friends or talking on the phone. As parents, it's up to us to ask "how much is too much?"